Where Osama Bin Lden Has Been Hiding

Pentagon officials now believe they have been unable to locate Osama Bin Laden because he has found a place in which to hide where:

1) it is easy to get in if you have the money;

2) no one will recognize or remember you;

3) no one will realize that you have disappeared;

4) no one keeps any records of your comings and goings; and

5) you have no obligations or responsibilities.

The analysts are still puzzled, however, as to how Bin Laden found out about the Texas Air National Guard.